Glass Half Full

I finished 50 posts to my blog and then randomly disappeared from webspace. It seems like many people have a tendency to take something halfway. Not saying that 100 posts is a blog target, but an increased post frequency is something I would like to maintain.

However, in these days where anyone in the know is expected to Facebook, twitter, Blog, and scariest of all, converse via cell phone, who has the time to maintain a cyber life.

Living in the 80s I remember when cell phones didn't exist. I remember when you'd go and knock on a friend's door to see if they were home, not send a text message. The timeline just becomes more preposterous from there.

Rotary, touch-tone, answering machines, tapeless answering machines, car phones, cell phones and now iPhones.

My rant is over, and I'm not sure if there was even a point. but with all these technological means by which we communicate, is there a reason to make a point? After all, how much information am I supposed to get across in 140 characters...

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Mc...What!

This has a priceless name. And not priceless in the Mastercard way. If you want to know what it is you'll have to ask me or look it up as it, like Christina Aguilera in a Boxing Ring, (and communal shower and possibly real life) is dirrty.

Courtesy of ThisIsWhyYoureFat.com I present to you the Mc********

***Sidenote: It's a sad day in the world when this is what consists of my 50th post...

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Kids!

...I don't know what's wrong with these kids today. No this is not going to be a social commentary on the youth of America. Rather this will be a voyage into Never-Never Land. I mean, who really want to grow up anyway. I personally grew up way too fast and would now suggest that I am regressing from an 85 year old ancient man ever closer to a pre-pubescent teen. Ok, well maybe not that far, but as I get older I find my impulses to be more and more immature.

Whether it's the desire for chocolate chip cookies, the need to kick something, or dancing in the street (all of which have occurred in the past week), it is clear that my inner child has found the keys to his cage.

Then again, I think Mr. Hamster (the affectionate name I have given to my brain) is on to something. I think he snuck the keys to my inner child as a means of preventing me from overextending the breadth of my maturity. Might this be a psychological Fountain of Youth courtesy of "Ponce De Hamster?"

Who knows? All I know is that I really should stop blogging this late in the evening. My mind can get introspectively twisted.

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Fear Factor in a Can...

Simply put, you can't make this stuff up...

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Speed Round 2/27

-Tom Brady has finally locked down Giselle. Well doesn't that stink. Hopefully Giselle will have a Jessica Simpson effect on the Patriots from this day forward.

-Megan Fox is SINGLE! She broke up with Brian Austin Green. Seriously, I had no clue that the guy was still on the face of the planet.

-Speaking of, what the hell is up with people's obsession with 90210?

-Krypto-Nate. Gotta love him, but Nate Robinson is making a kajillion times more than me. Oh the difference an inch can make (in reverse, nonetheless)

-And I am now taking reservations for riders on Millennium Force. It's been way too long since the last voyage.

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Idolized 2/26

Allison Iraheta and Adam Lambert (not of Step By Step fame). If they don't get in America got it wrong.

And I am actually pulling for VoteForTheWorst to get their way and for Nick Mitchell make it into the round of 12.

He can actually sing, but he chooses not to. And I love it. In effect, "Norman Gentle" is the perfect way to punish the judges for crushing the dreams of real, potentially career, singers who didn't get Nick's slot.

Results show in about an hour. Thank god for my fast-forwarding DVR.

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Speed Round: February 24th

-President Obama addressed Congress and I felt a real sense of American pride in his words. I can only hope that our actions that follow reflect the same sentiment.

-Add to that: The President bumped American Idol to Wednesday-Thursday this week. Take that Seacrest!

-The Biggest Loser needs to stop having "events." They're called episodes. Unless someone loses 100 lbs in one week or Jillian wears a pink dress it's not an event.

-Ever seen the HBO series 1st and Ten? Delta Burke becomes the owner of a Pro football franchise, The California Bulls. 80 half hour long episodes can be found in the 5-dollar bin at Wal-Mart enjoy.

-And finally... Vacation all I ever wanted... Vacation had to get away... -The Go-Gos

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Baconnaise!?

I have a new favorite website. Ok, well, not favorite (Failblog.org your place is still safe). But when you get the chance you should check out ThisIsWhyYoureFat.com.

If the internet didn't have sites like this there would be no joy in living. Sure, this site has already spawned ideas for tons of horrible culinary concoctions, but everyone should have at least one heart attack in their life, right? It's called gaining "experience." (and by experience I mean "triple chin")

But seriously, how could any of us ever live without "Baconnaise"

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The Unsinkable Tatiana Del Toro

Well, American Idol has officially gone live and there is a smattering of talent (Thank You, Danny Gokey)

And then there is Tatiana Del Toro. Tonight she came out onto the stage and acted as if she wanted to be taken seriously. There was no giddy cackling. She didn't thank the sound stick man. And she tried to "market" herself like she was selling a used car.

So what does she choose to sing? The average person would think someone as bipolar as Tatiana would choose something by Amy Winehouse or maybe take on rapping like Joaquin Phoenix.

But NO....

Tatiana comes out and sings Whitney Houston. And not the 2000s bipolar Whitney. She went with 1985's "Saving All My Love For You." And it was actually better than drunken karaoke...

Consider the brick to be officially shat.

So who is the real Tatiana? If she had been serious from her first audition, I might be able to think of an artist rather than as a freak show. But now I and most of America is probably uber-confuzzled.

But hey, VoteForTheWorst.com thinks she's a winner! Lemmings, phones at the ready... It may be time for Sanjaya 2.0.

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The Numbers Game

Everything in life seems to be associated with numbers. In fact we seem to value ourselves by the numbers we attach to ourselves. Our age, our salary, how many times we...ahem. Yes, well numbers can be very important.

That said, what is numbers were irrelevant. Working in the Sports world it is hard for me to remove myself from such a world, but What if all game were played as exhibitions and score was not kept. Much like soccer moms are pushing for in recreational leagues across America.

Might we learn that there is no need to be good or better or best? Maybe we would learn to have a greater appreciation for the "journey" rather than the "goal." What if people who have lived their entire lives as losers were never told that they were behind the curve? Speaking of curves, if there were no scores on exams or the SATs might there be a greater emphasis on experiential learning rather than rote recitation of fact?

Ok, let's snap back to reality for a second. As you can see in the picture, there are reasons that people fail. And keeping score/assigning numbers etc is simply our world's way of letting you know where you stand. If we didn't know, we'd surely be lost in a never-ending sea of wonder. And while that sea might be interesting in the middle of some 80s Disney flick, I have no desire to be adrift anywhere that I won't know where I stand.

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Feeling Blue

Sometimes I wonder why Blue is my favorite color...

And then I give my self 60 seconds:

-Blue comes in many shades, all of which are appealing, but Royal is the best.

-And it is versatile. It can describe hue or emotion.

-Take it to baseball and you can yell at it for making a bad call.

-You can listen to it while sipping a nice scotch (plurally).

-And if you change it's spelling you can show disdain (Past tense of course).

...there's a lot more but my time is up. Deuces.

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Name That Tune!

No seriously, I want you to Name That Tune. I have excessive amounts of iTunes cash and I need some suggestions for new music. Those of you who know me know that my musical tastes span well beyond the limits of taste, so go wild and entice me to download something. I expect advice dang it!

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Blissful Solitude

Why can't more shows like this be flooding the airwaves? Solitary 3.0 is arguably the most blissfully sadistic television program I have ever watched. (The Chamber was more sadistic, just not blissfully so.)

Every reality show has people who sign up to subject themselves to weird experiences (read: torture). Whether it be eating maggots with American Idol rejects, being fired by finely coiffed hairpieces (I know, it's not a toupee, it just stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night) or quaking before the ethereal "five-head" known as Tyra (Miss Banks if you're nasty), Reality television has always aimed to overwhelm our attention deficient minds with ...what's that? That dude on Maury's NOT the father!?

Oh sorry.

Reality TV is often overly contrived and relies too much on celebrities and twists to create some semblance of watchable programming.

Solitary, however, refuses to conform. It's reality at its most raw where individuals create their own reality by interacting with Val's contrived circumstances. I could try to explain it here in greater detail, but you are better watching for yourself. Grab a bag of chips, tune to Fox Reality and prepare to cringe. You'll never look at bowling balls the same way again.

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Get in the Game!

For someone who tends to be really good at games its surprising how few I have played recently. It's as if I am denying my own heritage. From a young age my parents taught me to be competitive, analyze awkward situations and perform under pressure. Yet, the only awkward situations I have been in recently are the ones that come from attending holiday parties (and even those weren't that awkward).

It's probably true of all of us that we have periods in our lives that we stray from what defines us at our core. But how do we reclaim that which centers us and is oh so precious?

Trial by fire can yield some messy results. Easing in can often take too long and be thwarted by other distractions. And creating polar choices that leave no room for a grey area tends to be crippling (especially when it comes to blog narratives).

So that said, I'm not going to close this blog topic with and all knowing to poignant response. There shall be no catharsis. Just an unbearably uncomfortable openness to suggestions...

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