On the Brink

Is there ever a time when we are not on the brink? When there isn't a decision that looms at the forefront of our consciousness? A decision with such gravitas that we fear the wrong choice may alter the path of our lives?

So maybe that is a little dramatic, but nonetheless it's probably true. So true in fact that many of us choose indecision just to "take a break." This is because, unfortunately, every serious decision we make yields way to truckloads of work. Work to which we must hold ourselves accountable if we want our decision to stick.

With 2009 on the immediate horizon, it's scary (and maybe exciting) how many decisions we will be faced with. Let's just hope that as individuals, family friends and countrymen we have the fortitude to not only decide, but also fearlessly execute.

Hey, change is supposed to be good right (or is it just inevitable?)

Read more »

Retro Rhapsody in Blue

I didn't think reliving this could ever be possible. Some might consider it a personal shame as i was less than 100 points shy of getting a free trip to the finals, but c'est la vie. I will always have fond memories of my time at the Jacob Javitz Center.

To think that someone has reproduced the competition cart from the 1990 Nintendo World Championships is mind boggling. How many kids today can rip though Super Mario Bros, Rad Racer and Tetris in 6 minutes and 21 seconds? And I don't just mean rip though, I mean do it with style, saving at least half the time to unleash a dervish of four-lined fury that will make your granny run and buy some "Oops, I crapped my pants!"

Now we just have to see how long I can resist buying this piece of Retro sweetness...

Read more »

Santa. Baby?

It's Christmas time! Or Christmahanukwanzakah time... (Suck on that Spelling Bee kids!). But in reality isn't it just time for everybody to whine a little more? I mean, the weather is getting colder, the days are getting shorter, the economy sucks which means the gifts we'll get are gonna suck (or at minimum be cheap), the holiday specials on TV suck, my grammar sucks (at least when it comes to run-on sentences like this one) and don't even get me started on the trials and tribulations of enduring fruitcake.

All that said, here is my case for the death of Christmas cynicism. Every year, one man and his band of merry elves toil tirelessly to not only make the best toys in the world, but also deliver them to the kids that are worthy. Santa charitably donates his time and stuffs his keister into millions of chimneys (whether they exist or not) with the sole purpose of making all children, no matter which crayola crayon they use to color their face or how many 25 cent gumballs they can buy, smile.

And best of all, Santa doesn't actually exist (should I have made a spoiler alert... my bad.) Santa is a creation of man in the hopes that one day a year we can all be happy. That families can join together and share in the love of the season and the abundance that is life.

Sure, someone is going to argue that Santa is a commercial device, created as a bloodsucking leech on the wallets of middle-class America. Some might even say that he is an atheist distraction from the real meaning of Christmas.

And to you people I say, "Bah Humbug!" ...And Merry Christmas! (or Happy Holidays if that sounds better to you)

Just please, no one get me started on the Easter Bunny...

Read more »

Lack of Intelligent Life...

A lack of knowledge can make life very difficult. Yet some people seem to succeed despite this (see video). Is there something to be said of those of us that can succeed without the aid of mental fortitude? Frankly, it's pretty darn impressive.


I only wish that I had the ability to charm my way to the top, however, I like many others will instead have to follow the mundane route using my intelligence and guile. So,when the former Miss Teen South Carolina and I eventually meet face to face (it's bound to happen, right?) There is going to be one big question. And no, that question has nothing to do with offspring or "five to the face."

The question will simply be: Who's Smarter?

After all, the former Miss Teen South Carolina is fully aware of what her assets are and at a very young age has put them to great use. As for me, time will tell.

So, if any of you see the former Miss Teen South Carolina anytime soon, please warn me to walk in the other direction. I'd like to have a couple more years before I have to answer that question honestly.

Read more »

Football Follies

Let me go on the record saying that this weekend of Football just plain sucked. Yes, the Giants won, I know (Philly you still have baseball) but Penn State's loss was atrocious. The beauty of Penn State's loss however is that I don't have to freak about the BCS screwing the Nittany Lions anymore. The G-Men on the other hand are another story. If they keep flirting with losses we are going to have another Cleveland on our hands.

Look at me talking like I can affect this, as if the outcome is in the hands of the fans. Yeah, prepare for the proverbial lap bar ladies and germs (see Roller Coaster of Life Post). This second half of the football season will surely be a doozy.

Read more »

We Interrupt This Message...

...To announce that Barack Obama has been elected the 44th President of the United States. For those of you expecting me to spout off on some sort of metaphorical tirade, you can forget it. Barack Obama is simply a man who wishes to serve his country and make America a better place. He shares the core intentions that should be innate in every person to hold the office of President and I can only hope that as Americans we can rally behind him and by doing so rally behind ourselves. Soapbox disengaged.

Read more »

Roller Coaster... of Life

Yeah, It's been a while since I've posted, but then again, I've never really been the type to keep a diary. Life has been a roller coaster and I would like to take a moment out of my busy day to address the lap bar.

the lap bar is the most sinister instrument ever invented in the roller coaster of life. It keeps you locked into the ride through every single twist and turn, good or bad, but it still lacks the total security of a seat belt and shoulder harness.

Oh, the lap bar is not your friend my children. It takes sadistic pleasure in watching you scream down the journey of life even though it has traveled the same path numerous times before and always live to tell the tale.

So, why do we even get on the first place? Maybe it's the adrenaline rush of knowing that crazy things beyond imagination could happen. Or maybe we are peace seekers, looking for a gentle kiddie ride at a state fair. All I know is that in life you don't get to pick the ride. It could be Space Mountain, or it might be Millennium Force (pictured to the right).

Man, what I would give to be at the peak of Millennium Force right now...

Read more »

Get in the Game...

Shameless EA plug I know. Sometimes though it's the best answer. Do any of us really understand how often we choose to ride the pine? Seriously, how many times in your life can you say that you fully participated in everything that you wanted to do? More than likely, some amount of fear paralyzed you and before you knew it time had passed along with opportunity. Then all you are left with is a giant bowl of "What if?"

Well I am here to tell you that "What If?" tastes like Alpo. I'd knock SPAM, but I have a long established relationship with the Hormel company that dates back to Latin Club.

Regardless, in a world full of Filet Mignon and Ben & Jerry's, how dare any of us sit down at the end of the day and delude ourselves into believing that the three bowls of Alpo we had were delicious?

So, let's say goodbye to our craptacular menus, no matter how big or small they may be and start dining at the Ritz.

...Or at least upgrade to Taco Bell. (Chilitos, I will always miss you.)

Read more »

What's Your Fantasy?

Riches? Fame? World Peace? Who knows what it is that you dream about at night or keeps you going during the day, but I do know that if there isn't something driving you, your life will be a world of hurt.

Isn't that basically what the American dream is all about? Hope springing eternal? Hope for a better tomorrow?

I'll never say that I am infallible, but leaving things up to hope is a dangerous game to be playing. When you don't actively pursue hope, she transforms into this evil mistress called fate. And trust be Hope is more fun to hang out with. She'll at least let you choose the movie once in a while. Fate will chain you down and put "Beaches" on repeat.

For that matter, Hope and Fate are kind of like "Hope and Faith ." Kelly Ripa (Hope) has career options while Faith Ford (What the heck has she done?) is doomed to acting purgatory.

Long Story Short. Chase Hope. She's a fine catch. Even if you never catch her, the adventures you have while trying will be a heck of a lot better than spending an eternity with Fate, her older and much uglier sister.

Read more »

Stability... Like Jello.

Feel that Wobble, Feel that wiggle. There was a time in my life that all I wanted to do was avoid the feeling that my life was a Bill Cosby commercial.

Don't get me wrong, I would have loved to have been a Huxtable, but as far as the pudding and the creepy molds, I'll pass.

All I ever wanted was to know what life would be like day in and day out. Order was my God and Routine was my mistress.

Now i think all of that may be overrated. I wanted things to be routine because when they were I would always know what I was doing. As a result, I would be guaranteed to succeed on a daily basis. That can feel pretty good.

But thinking back, all of my best moments have come when I had to relinquish control. No one told me what words I would be receiving in my 5th grade spelling bee. Hell, no one told me that my pants would split on stage during an aerial split. However, these moments were defining for me and the stable moments in my life are significantly more forgettable.

So if I am aiming to live a life that could be chronicled in the annals of history, maybe I need to introduce a little more jello into my life. I hear the Lemon-Lime is delicious.

Read more »

A Quickie...

Why doesn't the pop-o-matic bubble apply to real life?

It most definitely isn't fun getting into trouble, but popping a 6 to get out of a rut would be a lot easier than completing a full slate of Operation surgeries (And avoiding setting off that red nose can be quite the charge.)

I mean think about it. If getting out of a difficult situation was never more than a one in 6 shot, I think there'd be a whole lot of popping going on.

So here's to Trouble. Proof that all of life's happiness can be contained in a tiny plastic dome .

Take that Magic 8 Ball!

Read more »

Oh Brother...

Big Brother 9 marks an interesting point in my life. It is the first time that I chose actively not to watch an entire season of the summer fun fest.

In reality I was just swamped with work and coping with a night shift, but hearing the about the season via friends with bleeding retinas, I think my timing could not have been more fortunate.

But now the producers have committed to going Christina Aguilera on season 10, going "Back to Basics."

If they are being fully honest, which is hard to believe, we may finally see a reality show stand on the two feet that the genre was created on. Placing ordinary people in extraordinary circumstances and letting things play out naturally. That's what made Survivor Borneo strike gold. That's why MTV faithful still cite the first season of the Real World as one of if not the very best.

This is not to say that the more salacious shows do not have their places in the television landscape. They do and many of them are amazingly entertaining. But I have always felt that the most enthralling drama occurs in every day life and if BB10 strays too far away from that, numero diez could be the end of this Julie Chen helmed summer struggle.

Read more »

On the Road Again

There was a time when I really wanted to travel. I remember in 7th Grade begging my parents to let me go on a trip to Western Europe. They waited 5 years for the opportunity to re-present itself before they granted my request.

That trip was interesting to say the least, and Switzerland is gorgeous, but now that I am taking the opportunity to do a little more domestic travel, I wonder why the hell we call ourselves states.

Shouldn't we really be the United Countries of America. Each state technically has its own government and states rights is a time-honored constitutional principle, but continuing to use the moniker of state rather than country creates the illusion that we are all one. United.

Take a look at the election night map, and you know instantly that is not true.

Now don't read this as a secessionist manifesto. Just read it as one man saying that we should more openly embrace the differences between Mississippi an Montana. Between Alabama and Arizona. God knows Sports fans know the difference between Massachusetts and New York. Heck socially, Bostonians speak a "different" language from New Yawkers.

Maybe if we had a better appreciation for the less than subtle nuances, we would value what we have at home just a little more. I know that I find myself yearning for stability from time to time, searching for the familiar rather than the newer, greener pastures. But in the prime of my youth, a prime that will last at least until I am 40, I'm willing to take the ride.

Read more »

A Post of Lesser Significance

Fair Warning: The following clip may be either annoying or downright addictive. Watch with caution.



That said, there is something valuable about the ability to be irreverent. Being serious all the time is truly trying and spouting gibberish for no apparent reason can be just the cathartic release that certain high-strung individuals need.

So before this post becomes excessively thought out remember to occasionally not give a turd about what others think and say. We are human after all and that gives us more than permission to err a little bit.

(I will now spell check and proofread this post... I'm sorry, the my OCD should become OPP. C'est la vie.)

Read more »

The Rules... (sorry ladies, not those.)

Quite an interesting image on the right. But please get your mind out of the gutter as I am only using it to illustrate a single principle.

Liberty Loves Justice.

Everyone has rules to life that they choose to live by. More so, it seems those rules will change based on a given date, maturity level or traumatic incident. Regardless of reason, we craft these rules hopefully because they allow us to be the person that we want to be, no more, no less.

But have any of us taken the time to write them down and see how they evolve? I'm sure someone has, but just in case I am wrong (and those of you who know me know how frequent that is) this will be the beginning of my list.



So, without further ado. Here is a rule to live by.

Play The Game.

Simple enough. If you don't like the game you are playing currently, play a different game, but if you are in a game, which EVERYONE is, Play The Game.

The rest of the interpretation, as interpretation is always personal, is left up to you.

Read more »

It's the Inside... that frightens?

Just an overly philosophical realization, but hear me out. We all grow up seeking to find what drives us. That something within that just burns passionately for a trade, a craft, or a love. Some people seem to find their "calling" immediately and others may never find their inner truth at all.

But if it's inside of us, why don't we just let it out, ring the bell and say,

"I win, I'm Happy Now!"

Because we're smarter than that...

As we grow and mature, I think we all subconsciously let out the amount of our inner true selves that we can handle at a given time. Everyone recognizes going "into a cocoon" we times are difficult in an effort to weather the storm, but the climate and timing have to be perfect for the butterfly to emerge.

Personally, I think this is kind of scary. For me to be telling myself that I am not ready for of all things, me, is a little hard to fathom. But when deep inside I feel as if I have a unique and surprising greater purpose, I guess I need to be patient and ready for anything, come what may.

Read more »

I'm Used to Winning, But Not Quite Like This...

I am seriously beside myself right now. Some could describe this as a cathartic release. Those who know me would view this as only increased pressure, but no matter what the truth may be I have a new best friend...

Meet Emmy...

That's right, she's my new roommate. She hasn't moved in yet, but she has signed the lease. In a weird way I don't feel as if I am worthy of her golden awe, but I think it's time for me to fess up to myself.

I'm good. Damn good. And I'm worth something damn it!

So let this miniature triumph for me be the catalyst to you "getting yours" because I am oging to "get mine" even if I have no clue how.

Read more »

Kaboom!

Sometimes it just feels like everything in the world is being blown to pieces. When I say this i speak of an individual's world and not the world at large. However, strangely enough, this may be the first time in my life that I am welcoming the change.

It's almost as if their has been a snail creeping ever so slowly toward the reset button on the NES of my life and finally after umpteen years, the snail is about to complete his life's work.

So what the hell is a person supposed to do in this situation? I see the carnage around me and trust me, the fireworks display is downright amazing, but the hamster in my head is really wondering if he should be abandoning his wheel.

Akums Razor says to go with the simplest solution which would seem to be do nothing and so far that is what I have done, but who's to say that I can't run into the fire and carnage and come out unscathed and arguably better for the experience?

It all comes down to determining what risks are necessary. Maybe life has just gotten too comfortable recently? I feel like it's time to live. Live in the same way that you feel alive at the peak of a roller coaster on second before you plummet. With that, only one thing can be said...

Game on.

Read more »

The Search for (Im)Perfection

It's all anyone every wants. That's right, if any of us could have one thing and one thing alone, it's perfection. The Patriots want it. Roger Federer wants it. And I want it. But now there are throngs of society telling me and every other idealist out there that we can't have perfection. Nobody's perfect adn expecting to be will set you up for nothing but failure. Quit while you're ahead. Be happy with what you have.

To them I say... SCREW YOU!

I have not lived out 26 years of my life to be told that there are things that can not be accomplished. At one point space travel was impossible. Before that simple air flight was impossible. Heck, every one of us starts as a crawling mess of a baby that sees walking, vertically-enabled adults taunting us with what we can't do (Don't act like you never reached hopelessly for that cookie that was precariously placed on the coffee table.)

So, if we have accomplished all of those things, why not perfection too? Supposedly perfection is tarnished by a single mistake, but I'm saying here and now that that's rubbish. Perfection comes from handling mistakes. Fixing that flat tire. Calling that scorned friend. Not quitting on yourself. Hell, the best wins are always the comebacks, so why assume that perfection requires Boardwalk and Park Place. I'll whoop you with New York Avenue any day of the week. So if you want to see perfection, create it. It never goes away.

Read more »

PlayCafe a.k.a. Trivia Bliss

Make sure that you check out PlayCafe, the live streaming internet game show where you are the contestant. Be forewarned, I am head writer for the show, so questions may be closer than they appear. Good Luck and Have Fun!

Read more »

The Year of the Ex

Why does it feel like it's Halloween? After all it is only January. Something about the new year brings back the visages of everyone that you thought you had once escaped. It's as if everyone has made a New Year's resolution to reconnect with their past... even if it should stay that way.

So this year, I am actually making an attempt to join the fanfare for the common man. That means a lot of people are getting second chances and some are getting the first chance that I never gave them. I guess my hope is that something positive will come from all of this.

Things such as having more friends, being exposed to different perspectives and way of life, being able to trust someone (anyone). All of these things should have a great value in any individual's life.

Primarily though, I am breaking up with myself. I don't like the person that I was last year, and it's time for a change. So as I reunite with all of these people from the past I look forward to improving my relationship with myself. Here's to a new me, and hopefully a new you too.

Read more »

New Year, New You

Welcome to 2008. It's a little crazy to think that another year has gone by, but every new year provides us all with, in essence, a do-over.

Did you feel remorse for cutting that class last January?

Not asking that girl out in April?

Eating that entire pizza pie in September?

...or drinking all 17 of those shots your "friends" gave you in November? (maybe it was 26..)

No matter how you look at it. All of 2007 is officially in the past and this new year is a chance to create a new you. So instead of making small improvements or making resolutions, why not be that person that you fantasize about. You know, the one with the brilliant mind, perfect body and all the popularity to boot.

Even if you are moreso a realist than an idealist, just fake it until you make it. Realize what "perfection" may cost. You may lose friends, alienate family or even awaken fears within yourself. However, if all of this change helps you to not only find but also attain your inner truth, the risks and losses will be worth it and the gains will be immense.

Read more »