Have You Ever?

Have you ever really wanted something so bad only to find out that when you got it that you didn't care nearly as much as you thought you did? Why does this happen. I think that we need to realize that many of our goals dreams and desires are dependent on contingencies. The when, where and How are just as important as the what.

So how the heck can we stop being so picky? After all, most of us would like to do anything that would allow us to be happy instead of bitter. Well to take a line from late night television, it's all about lowered expectations.

Now lowered expectations does not equate to lower goals. continue to aim high and refuse to settle for anything other than your best, but don't project your own personal mantra onto others lest you be willing to risk extreme disappointment. For when it comes to matters that impact you more than others, which is exactly what most personal desires are, it's not only unlikely that the others will care as much as you, but frankly it's natural.

And should you seek something that does not involve that aid or assistance of another human, make sure you reflect inward and evaluate yourself. If you don't end up happy, you only have yourself to blame.

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Happy Days are Here Again

The Holidays or "holy days" are upon us. So why is it that most people I know aren't very happy? While I am sure that each person has their own individual drama, they mostly seem to be stressed out by the preparation needs associated with both Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Why are we supposed to be happy at this time of year anyway? Sure, we get yummy food on Thanksgiving, but we slave over a stove for 3 days prior and suffer on a treadmill for a full week afterwards. All this only to have our credit cards attacked by a red-suited bastion named Santa who likes to litter our living room floors with pine needles, wrapping paper and a curious amount of pastry crumbs. (OK, so maybe children should be blamed for that last part)

Santa Claus! | Funny Jokes at JibJab

Sure, my view of the holidays may be pretty jaded, but from the perspective of someone who has worked on 5 of the last 6 collective Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays, let me say this. Delaying my celebration of the holidays has not made them any less satisfying. In many ways, the holidays are even better.

Celebrating Christmas 4 days late allows me to take advantage of after Christmas sales that really should be before Christmas. Eating turkey a week late helps me avoid traffic when visiting my family, and shockingly, a turkey cooked a week after Thanksgiving still tastes like a Thanksgiving turkey.

Thus, I implore you. Please do you and your loved ones a favor. Take the pressure off of the holidays. Who cares if you can't get your shopping done on time or if the store ran out of cranberry sauce? Give gifts before during and after ChristmHanuKwanzakuh. Dine on turkey all November long, fixings included. Most importantly, laugh love and live. Stress is nothing more than our willingness to let things make us miserable.

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The Art of the Game

I've recently been involved in numerous discussion on what makes a good game.

Some people believe that a good game is like a test and will always reveal who is the best or most knowledgeable at something. Some feel that the game is all about winning. Others feel that the win isn't nearly as important as the journey to determine a winner.

Might i suggest that we stop asking questions and just play. After all, the first question of, "what do you want to play?" all too frequently grinds the fun to a halt. People argue over the type of game complaining about the difficulty, the length, the lack of team play, someone who wins too much or the need to be able to sculpt clay.

All these questions lead to the same answer: "Eh, let's do something else..."

So screw all the bureaucracy and just play. Have fun. Play to win, but laugh when you lose and herald all the mini-accomplishment along the way.

After all, when it comes down to it, The only question that matters is, "Wanna Play Again?"

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Art Imitates Life

While in most circumstances I would never take the time to point it out, the circumstances absolutely merits the mention. Grey's Anatomy has nailed my life. Now while I wish I could say that my personal life mirrored that of McSteamy or McDreamy, in this instance I am referring to the trials and tribulation of Dr. Miranda Bailey.

To work so hard for so long and not be noticed is a burden that I might argue is heavier than the world upon the shoulders of Atlas. After all, when asked how difficult holding the Earth was, Atlas Shrugged.

Bad humor aside, the ceremonial pats on the back received for a job well done have a way of turning into slaps in the face. Crazier yet, when your invaluableness is at its zenith, people may question your reasons for continuing to put forth effort.

It's as if they know that the world is a toilet and that you are its drain but they choose to eat burritos anyway. (I need to resolve to stop ringing the bell.)

Many people can't believe that a person could truly be driven by personal pride. Slacking has become such a norm in our society that it is heralded. Why work hard when you can still get paid by hardly working? Can't really argue with that one.

But let's put the shoe on the other foot. A little role play perhaps. I might be suspicious of someone who put forth total effort all the time. After all, I would never do such a thing myself and I'm doing great. They must think that they are better than me. How dare they! If they're so good why aren't they getting the respect they deserve. They must not deserve it.

Kind of makes me sick to type that, but it's probably closer to the truth than any idealized yarn that I might spin myself. Just makes you want to leap out of your skin doesn't it? Be someone else, on a different planet with "normal" people? Maybe that is what it takes. Maybe we need to flip our roles and change their perspective. After all, I you are working so hard at playing you game, why not buy Boardwalk in theirs?

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Viewer's Remorse

Television. Whether you consider it to be an art form, a cheap form of entertainment, or a means by which lobotomies can be performed sans incision, you have to admit that it's an integral part of our lives. Crazier yet, now with DVRs, there is the expectation that you have seen everything.

I mean, who wouldn't watch The Simpsons, Family Guy, Deal or No Deal, Jeopardy, Lost, Desperate Housewives, Flip That House, Project Runway, Dancing With Stars, The World Series and Monster Garage all in the same evening?

Did I forget Nip/Tuck, Scrubs, Cavemen, Nanny 911, The Search For the Next Elvira, How I Met Your Mother and Green Acres?

How about a couple of movies? High School Musical, anyone? And I haven't even begun to tap the premium cable networks.

The point is that there was once a time when we didn't have answering machines for our phones. You called someone and if they didn't answer you just tried again later. No harm, no foul. We as people were OK with not being permanently interlaced into the social fabric.

Then came the cell phone. You know the rest...

While I will be the first person to lay the smackdown on someone attempting to pry my generically branded TiVo from my grubby little mitts, I can't help but wonder how nice life might be if I never had it in the first place.

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Controlled Rage

Why do we all feel the need to be nice to other people? Sure, it's a great idea to be amiable and generally get along with others, however, we often choose to do so at the expense of ourselves. Maybe we are afraid that others will frown on us or that we'll be excommunicated from our social circles (How will I survive without Bunco nights?), but is the alternative really that much better?

Picture this: You are a bank. Rich with deposits from friends and family members. Each of them coming to you daily with quibbles and qualms... about other people.

"Would it really hurt her to have dinner ready when I come home?"

"If he picks his nose one more time, I will scream."

"If football can be his religion, why can't Home Shopping be mine?"

The acrid, often sarcastic comments that we make to one another (admit it) behind others' backs are really our way of delaying progress. If we said these comments to the person in question and bypassed the pleasantries, we might actually fix the problem. At minimum, if the issue was not rectified, we would be given a secondary course of action (disassociation from said person).

So here's to progress. Sure, it may not be nice, and it may not be easy, but the guy who said "Life is Not Fair" was dead right. Here's Proof:

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On the Buzzer

In the past week I have been fortunate enough to beat some amazing game show champions. One of them beat me summarily in return, but that aside, being in the heat of the action reminded me how much competition was lacking in my life.

Sure, at work we all fend for the best position. Raises, promotions and the best days off are always jockeyed for. However, beyond that Americans seem to have lost the competitive edge for which we were once known.

Nowadays people want to talk or watch movies rather than play sports or a challengeing board game. And those who do choose to compete often do so behind the guise of an internet persona, taking solace in the anonymity, while evoking competitive aspects of themselves they would never reveal if they thought they were being judged. Somehow, these avatars seem to make it okay to be aggressive and cutthroat, but these are actions that should not be socially criminalized in the first place. Now let's be real for a moment and point out that these actions, especially when coupled with online avatars, are often exclusively associated with socially excommunicated geeks.

Mind you, I count myself among their bretheren while I somehow still manage to straddle the social fence.

The point is, if we as a society and as "Team America" are to do better, we need to imbue healthy competition into our daily life. We can't be willing to accept dropping out of the top 10 in education standards and we need to get over the "loser's complex"; the idea that one winner creates more than one loser and thus competition is counterproductive and even detrimental.

I ask you to remember the last time you won something; the last time that you won something that you had to work for. Now look me in the eyes (or the squirrel for that matter) and tell me that moment wasn't worth it. That it was counterproductive. That is was detrimental. Tell that squirrel that losing doesn't make every win sweeter. Can't do it can you? Now give the squirrel a nut.

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The Proverbial Horse

The gym is calling my name. It's been more than a month since I have had an effective workout and my body is feeling the havoc that my emotional state has wreaked. That said, when do you decide enough is enough. It's been written many times that change is imminent when rock-bottom is reached, but when do you stop beating the horse and get back on the horse.

There's a conflict here. You can beat a dead horse, or you can get back on the horse. Of course, getting back on a dead horse seems to have little purpose (much like beating it). Yet, when the horse bucks you off, you want to beat it dead. So Ms. Antoinette, how are we to go about obtaining our cake and eating it too?

Frankly, I have no clue. Or maybe I do. Follow along.

1. Horse bucks you off

2. You get pissed.

3. You beat the horse dead.

4. You get a new horse.

Really there isn't another logical option other than deciding to walk, but walking would be a form of admitting failure. Instead we get a blank slate, a horse that has no memories of our prior acts, and begin anew. Not a bad trade when you think about it. And to think all we ever do is dwell upon our prior failures when Mr. Ed is just ready to ride into the sunset. Giddy up!

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Fake It Until You Make It

People by nature are predictable. Just like statistics, we generally all average out. However, with free will we can choose to be different and be less predictable. We can do the opposite of our impulses, break our tendencies and put forth a persona that is different from what everyone has known.

This is what many people would call "being fake" because one certainly, could not possibly "be real" if they are altering their natural actions, right?

Wrong. "Being fake" is nothing more than the initiation of change. Because eventually, if you stick with it long enough, your fake actions will become the real you. So go ahead, do the unnatural. Be awkward. Seek out the new you that you thought never existed. And when you feel that rush; that unknown, slimy, foreign and just plain weird guttural reaction that you can't quite put your finger on, embrace it. After all, every day is an opportunity to find a new you.

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Running on Empty

The Zone. And no, I am not talking about the diet. I'm talking about the zone where your mental acuity is at its sharpest and basic functions seem to go on auto-pilot. It's downright amazing what a person can accomplish while in the zone, but why can't we get there more frequently? After all, it is rare that a person would choose to underperform.

I might peg this phenomenon on necessity considering that it almost always occurs when one is put into a "fight or flight" scenario. But what about in situations of pleasure. When someone truly enjoys what they are doing, we will often view them as being consumed by their craft hobby or work. Might they just be in a positively induced zone?

It's kind of nice when you think about it. Too often we are motivated by negative triggers. As a resolution, make it your goal to get just as wrapped up in the things you enjoy as the things you do as required. This may just be the secret to pulling an attitudinal 180.

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Rage in the Cage

Anger truly is quite a fierce emotion. No other emotion (except for potentially sorrow) seems to have such a drastic effect on a person's demeanor. When anger is exhibited in it's purest form, Rage, the actions of an individual become unpredictable. Fists may fly, expletives may be shouted in blurts, but stranger yet, one may turn internally and swallow all the rage welling up inside them.

This pent up aggression is what yields the wildest results, because rage's best friends is time, and should rage be given the opportunity to think of the best way to create chaos, destruction is imminent. It is this calculated rage that often results in crimes of passion, on-the-job violations, backstabbing manipulations and more of the heinous moments that we as humans file away as regret. Funny though, somehow a night of sleep has a habit of making rage dissipate into a sleeping elephant. Just do not disturb that pleasant pachyderm from his peaceful slumber, as once he wakes up, he will not have forgotten anything.

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Something Like a Phenomenon...

Many of us experience the pain of not being good enough. We get rejected by the opposite sex, defeated by the opposition at sports or simply fail to fit into our favorite pair of jeans. But what about the times when we are too good? Like when we are playing our favorite board game or singing our favorite song at karaoke night. The derisive stares from strangers, and worse yet, friends make you wonder if it is acceptable to excel. Sometimes we even withhold our true talents in order to fit in. Is that right? Or are we lying? It might seem harsh to say, but I propose that purposefully performing below our actual ability is a veritable falsehood. If we can't play our true selves in this comedy of errors known as life, why even bother playing at all?

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Are You Tempted?

In a effort to resist temptation, I've avoided talking about game shows until post number 3. However, I have waited long enough. Temptation: The New Sale of the Century is under fire and the Writer's Guild doesn't seem to be letting up any time soon. But aside from the union conflict, I am more disturbed by the state of game shows on our television landscape.

There seems to be a genuine fear to make contestants work for their money. This isn't an anti-big money argument mind you, but I miss watching contestants conquer the seemingly impossible. Winning multiple episodes in a row, solving word puzzles with a single letter revealed, or even finishing the obstacle course with double-digits left on the clock. These feats of grandeur accomplished by everyday people are truly the heart and soul of any game show. Let's just hope that more opportunities present themselves in the near future.

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Time Goes By... So Quickly...

Tick Tock... (the clock not the croc) It's amazing how none of us seem to realize how valuable our time is until we have spent it all. Every spare minute is precious, but aside from that, it's amazing when you take the time to realize how much time we waste everyday. From excessive internet usage (which makes my blogging ironic) to comfort time on the porcelain throne (ahhh...), our lives could be just that much more enthralling if we literally took (Yes, I am advocating stealing) the time from wasted activity and spent it the way we wanted. So instead of letting your life schedule you, try scheduling your life the way you want it. It's amazing how a regimented, structured day can be a breeze when the plan is self-created.

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Let the Blog Begin!

It's the inaugural post of my blog! Here I will share my random thoughts and musings and better yet entertain the masses. Ok, so maybe I'll only entertain a few people, but if you only learn one thing from this blog (yes, there will be a quiz), let it be to always shoot for perfection and accept excellence along the way. That's it. Short and Sweet. Seacrest Out!

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